The first time
we went to the bluff, I was six. It was Easter Sunday, and like every other
Sunday morning, once the digital clock ticked past 08:00, it meant my sister
and I could climb into my parents’ bed. I didn’t sleep much as a kid, so I’d usually
woken my sister first…crept into her room and climbed into her bed around 6. By
8, we’d been watching cartoons, and the clock, for hours already… Captain
Planet and David the Gnome were what Sunday ‘stay in your room time’ was made
of.
I loved every
Sunday morning as a kid…but I loved Easter Sundays more. Not only did it mean
my sister and I could wedge ourselves between mum and dad in the ‘big bed’,
like we did when it was someone’s birthday and we all wanted to see the cards,
but it also meant my dad would open one of his Easter eggs in bed, and eat it for
breakfast… I loved that…watching him tuck into a Mars Bar at 8.30 in the
morning. Part of me couldn’t believe he was actually ‘allowed’ to! It was so
naughty of him, I thought I would burst with envy!
I definitely wasn’t
allowed to do that. Mum always insisted my sister and I ate some ‘proper’
breakfast first and would go downstairs to make toast and tea. Meanwhile, dad
would lift me and my sister into the air, one on each hand as he lay flat on
his back in bed, and wave us around like two colliding fighter jets. We’d
scream with laughter and beg him to do it again…bracing against the padded ‘80s
headboard. I don’t ever think he had the heart to tell us when we were getting
too heavy!
At some point,
mum would return with a tray and we’d all eat breakfast together, in the ‘big
bed’, in pajamas…like Christmas, but with spring sunshine, streaming through
the net curtains. Later, we’d have toys and presents from family and friends, and
there’d be Easter Lunch, before we called at grandma’s to collect what was
always the biggest of our chocolate eggs…the big bed and the aeroplane game
were just the beginning.
This particular
Easter Sunday I met mum on the landing as I crept across, tip-toeing between
the floorboards that creaked so as not to wake anyone. She was coming out of my
sister’s room…with a bucket. She stopped me.
“Oh love,” she
said. “She’s asleep. She’s been sick all night.” I looked up at her,
incredulous.
“But…but…” my
lip quivered… “But it’s Easter!!” I dodged round her and stuck my head around
my sister’s bedroom door. She was pale and glistening, with old towels over the
bed and on the floor, in case she threw up again. I burst into tears. “But we
won’t be able to do Easter!” I wailed.
“Oh chicken…she
can’t help it. She’s poorly.” Mum went in the direction of the bathroom to
empty the sick bucket. I stood, weeping, on the landing. This was going to be
the most miserable day ever.
Mum and dad
tried. We had Easter lunch, and I played with my new toys…but I couldn’t bring
myself to eat any chocolate at all. It just wasn’t the same without my sister
to share in the joy of feeling pleasantly ill from too much cocoa, whilst
watching kids TV. Every time I snuck upstairs to see if she was better yet, she
was sound asleep and looking clammy as ever.
“Shall I take
her out?” Dad said, when I still had a long face by 3pm. I must have looked awfully
forlorn, because he put my booster in the front seat of the red, Renault 19.
“Really daddy?”
I said, wide-eyed.
“Really…come on,
I want to show you something.”
We drove to the
bluff. A huge rock, about 30 minutes from home, that couldn’t be seen, rising
out of a field in the middle of nowhere, until you were almost upon it. There
were cows in the field next to it, and as dad and I walked up the hill towards
it, it seemed to get bigger by the second. You could have walked up the back of
it…but dad took my hand and helped me to climb up its massive face instead.
Then he sat down on the edge of it and he pointed in the direction of the
setting sun.
“Now watch.” He
said quietly as he sat me on his knee. I looked out across the cow field as a
long chorus of lowing almost instantly began. The field bathed slowly in orange
light as we watched, and the sky turned an intense sort of mauve. The cows
began walking in unison across the field, lowing together, as though the sun
were drawing them towards it. It was one of the most mesmerizingly beautiful
things I’d ever seen, and the first time I remember feeling my soul turn over.
“What are they
doing daddy?” I whispered, not really sure why I was whispering, but just
knowing it felt like the right thing to do.
“They know it’s
time to go home, that’s all…to go to sleep. They’re singing a lullaby to the
sun. It won’t go down if they don’t sing.” I watched, open mouthed, as the sun
sank over the horizon, and the cows at the gate duly stopped singing and let it
sleep.
Dad and I
climbed down the back of the bluff in the twilight, frightening each other with
dark shadows on the rock face, me, screeching and giggling in the dark. It felt
even naughtier than eating chocolate for breakfast, and when he stopped at
Harry Ramsden’s for tea, an earlier thought that perhaps this had been better
than the aeroplane game with my sister, was justly confirmed. I felt that day
that the cows and the rock…and my dad…had shown me a secret of the world. Dad
may have been bluffing a tale of magic for a disappointed little girl who missed
her playmate on a special day, but somehow, for me, the cows have sung the sun
to sleep ever since.
I learned later
that the rock had a name, and the cows and I shared many beautiful
sunsets, and a fantastic solar eclipse there, long after I grew out of the aeroplane
game.
But one thing's for sure, I’ve never grown out of the bovine lullaby.
You had a loving man and a poet for a Dad. Fortunate.
ReplyDeleteRemembering times of my growing up, spending Summer holidays in the country, I can hear the cows lowing. Now I know what they were doing.
Thank you for that and, Happy Easter.
Thanks Kevin. I hadn't remembered it before reading your comment, but I think I do have a poet for a father. Around this same time, I recall he wrote poems in cards to my mother. I haven't seen him write anything for over twenty years, but I know in the things he says, he still thinks like a poet... & to this day, he has always been my best friend; we have always seemed just to 'get' one another, without it needing effort. If ever I am asked where my 'poet's gene' comes from, from now on I shall say honestly, it came from my dad. :) Thank you again for reading. I hope you enjoy many bovine lullabies. Happy Easter.
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