I don't usually like rhyming poetry all that much, and I rarely write it, but since I'm travelling back from The Netherlands to the UK today and haven't found much time in the second week of my holiday for #fridayflash, I decided to dig this one out! I wrote this about ten years ago, whilst I was still at school, and sent it off to be considered for a publisher's anthology. I didn't expect to hear anything...but to my surprise, it was, in fact, selected! Since it tells a tale of the future, I thought it might be suitable for today's #fridayflash... enjoy!
Control Tower Broadcast: Houston; Plutonic Colony - 2340AD
"Houston, we have a problem,
Request permission to land."
"Negative, Number Thirty-two
The station is unmanned."
"Houston, this is Captain Black,
The ship was hit on the left
At the back."
"Thirty-two, this is Houston Tower,
There's a gap in the pattern in
About an hour."
"Negative, Houston! Our missiles are low
We are taking fire and can only fly slow!"
"This is Houston, Thirty-two,
There are other ships worse off than you.
For as long as you're able, hold them back
Landing permission denied, Captain Black!
Defend our planet; it's the only one left;
Our species has destroyed the rest!"
"Houston, we read you, loud and clear,
We just can't save them all -
Only those who've paid their way,
This planet is too small."
"That's the spirit, Thirty-two,
Only the best on Pluto will do,
If we are to survive this time
I'm afraid we have to draw the line."
"Affirmative, Houston,
Pluto is ours! We are using back-up power."
"Commendable bravery, Thirty-two,
See you in about an hour."
Hello Major Tom? Nice work here, the poem works, omg you're brilliant. Love it.
ReplyDeleteAnd it could very well come to this, sadly. Excellent!
ReplyDeleteClever. I love it!
ReplyDelete~2
Interesting. I couldn't quite find the meter and rhythm but it flowed anyway, which is weird and cool to me.
ReplyDeleteGreat job. I loved it.
This moved so fast and flowed so well that I realized when I came to the end that I read it too quickly. I'm so glad I went back for a second, deliberately slower reading. There's so much here. You've done an excellent job with a very unique piece. ~ Olivia
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments everyone! The 15 yr old me who wrote this is still very grateful for your constructive feedback! :)
ReplyDelete"Ground Control to Major Tom" :)
ReplyDeleteWow. That was very clever. Nicely done.
Sorry I missed this last week, Amy. I found the rhyme there but incredibly subtle. Nicely done, with just the right ominous touch.
ReplyDelete