Thursday, 10 December 2009

#Fridayflash - Window Shopping


“I like that one,” Jennifer said shyly, almost ashamed of herself for acknowledging it. It definitely wasn’t the sort of thing she’d normally go for. She pointed discreetly, keeping her hand close to her body, so her friend Abigail would become aware of the target, but the rest of the world wouldn’t see. Jennifer flushed just thinking about the possibility of someone else seeing her interest in it. She would be so embarrassed if a stranger noticed her pointing…what would they think?! Would they assume she’d usually be drawn to something like that? Heaven forbid!

“That one?!” Abigail squinted at it, rather too obviously. “I don’t know, Jen…it’s not your usual sort of thing, is it? It’s got a bit of a dishevelled look about it. But then again, I suppose there’s nothing wrong with something different…a bit of variety is always healthy! It is a tad untidy looking…but I think that’s kind of…well…interesting!”

“You don’t like it, do you?” Jennifer said, eyeing her friend with mock sadness and just a smidge of genuine shame. “You think I’ve got weird taste!”

“Honey, I’ve known you a long time, I’ve seen your previous choices. I saw what you finally chose for the wedding last autumn! I know you’ve got weird taste!”

“Hey!” Jennifer nudged her friend playfully. “I happen to think I chose very well for the wedding! Alright then, which one do you like?” Abigail looked around the room, narrowing her eyes again as she scouted for, then settled upon, her prey. Naturally, it was the brightest, most feral-looking thing in sight. Neatly cut, but almost offensively present, it matched her somewhat predatory personality…it was a wild-looking thing indeed!

“That one!” She declared, much too loudly and eagerly for Jennifer’s liking, bouncing up and down a couple of times on her kitten heels with excitement. “That would look so good on me!” Jennifer grabbed Abigail’s hand and yanked her friend’s pointing finger back to her side.

“Abby!”

“What?! Oh, look Jen…I know this isn’t the sort of place we’d usually come to. But this is a special event! We’re celebrating still being who we are…despite recent…um… ‘changes of circumstance’. We can still have fun, you know?! It is allowed! Tonight we get to pick out anything we like! Any price bracket, any size, any colour combination! We’re not buying, remember? We’re just window shopping!” Abby flashed her wicked smile. “Maybe we’ll even hold a few items up against us! See how they look when we dance?” She spotted Jennifer’s worried look. “But we’re not going to try any on, I swear!”

Jennifer smiled, and felt herself succumbing to her friend’s enthusiasm. Abby was right, there was no harm in looking, even if you could no longer afford to buy. Locking eyes, the women smirked devilishly and wriggled their still-shiny wedding rings from their fingers, dropping them into tiny handbags. Abigail took a deep breath, straightened her short, black dress and grabbed Jennifer’s hand, tugging her across the bar.

“C’mon!” She encouraged, making a beeline for the group of guys containing ‘Wild Thing’. “Let’s go talk to that one!”

23 comments:

  1. Wow, a glimpse at a wild life safari!

    Well done! I thought at first it was traditional window shopping, but wondered later if there would be some sort of animal involved. Now I see I was partly right. :)

    Nice entry!

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  2. Very nice piece!

    I, too, thought that the friends were shopping for something to wear and the twisty reveal surprised and amused.

    So it's the disheveled one that had the proper animal magnetism for Jennifer, eh?

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  3. Pretty cool, thinking buying clothes as the descriptions become more animal-like.

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  4. Oooooh, naughty! I see what you did there :-)

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  5. Naughty indeed! Bad, bad girls! I don't usually name my characters but, as I wrote Abigail, I liked her more and more...she reminds me of someone I used to work with, but I don't think it was intentional! ;)

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  6. I especially liked this turn of phrase:
    "Neatly cut, but almost offensively present..."

    I can just SEE him.

    If it was the eighties in my neck of the woods he would have driven a trans am.

    Nicely done.
    Karen :0)

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  7. Well done here. . . so much imagery that could be take in different ways.

    Jim

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  8. Heh, at least now I know how the other half lives....

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  9. Fantastic! Window shopping for me, and here I was thinking pets...well I might have been right in a way. I love your work. Much love for a great writer.

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  10. I thought at first they were in an "adult" store but now I see it's even more "adult" than that...

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  11. Great path for window shopping to take. :)

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  12. Very clever, I didn't see that coming at all! Good imagery and what a way to use it! Window shopping, ha!

    Anne Tyler Lord

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  13. Haha, I like this very much. :-) Very fun stuff.

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  14. Gripping throughout, and a brilliant twist at the end.

    Even better on the second reading.

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  15. Thanks for the great comments guys! I love receiving your feedback and advice... I'm glad you all enjoyed the alternative window shopping experience! The female of the species is more deadly than the male...! ;)

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  16. I agree with most of these comments. My head was so set on the "window shopping" that I had to read the piece twice to really understand what happened. But then I have to ponder jokes long after the punchline's told. Great piece of writing.

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  17. Amy, Lovely reveal at the end! I knew it could not be clothing they were looking at, but I thought they were predatory animals ready to pounce on some innocent prey. It turns out they were! This is a great story and I think Jennifer's shyness goes a long way in making the story very human and believable. My favorite line: “Maybe we’ll even hold a few items up against us! See how they look when we dance?”

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  18. Just goes to show window shopping works in more ways than one. :) Fantastic imagery here Amy!

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  19. Lookie but no touchie?! Great story, kept me rushing to the reveal. Peace, Linda

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  20. Indeed! - look , but don't touch...the worst kind of tease! ;p

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  21. Uh-oh. Let's hope for their husbands' sake it stays just window shopping... Good story!

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