Friday 29 January 2010

#Fridayflash: Cain and Annabelle

  
“I don’t do this often, you know…” I didn’t quite know why I was telling him this, but for some reason, it was important to me. It was important what he thought of me.

The man standing in my bathroom doorway, who said his name was Cain Andrews, raised an amused eyebrow in my direction.

“Don’t do what?” He smiled, gently playful, and I felt something fall inside me, tumbling through my chest…like glitter, or tiny shards of light. Whatever it was, it sparkled. “Approach strange men in bars and invite them into your bed?” I grimaced ruefully, somewhat embarrassed.

“Exactly.”

“Of course you don’t,” he said, still smiling, then nodded at me, honest and knowing. “I can see that about you, Annabelle.” He grinned, jovial again. “So I must be special, right?”

I smiled simply, not sure what to say for the best. My entire core had responded immediately in the affirmative to his question, but I didn’t want to seem frightening. As he said, we were technically strangers…but there was no getting away from this. I truly felt something startling for him, something like never before…

Now, listen. I don’t want you to get me all wrong here – I’m not a ‘love at first sight’ sort of woman. I’ve never been the star-crossed, Juliet type who thinks every man she shags will love her! I certainly hadn’t intended to feel this way when I approached Cain. I’m a career girl – and love was the last thing on my mind. Cain Andrews was just another guy, in another town, another bar, on another, ordinary work night.

When I failed to respond to his question, Cain made his way back to the bed and lay down beside me, propping himself on an elbow and turning towards me. He made for a wonderful, naked sight, and I watched him move…impossibly, still hungry.

I slid my right hand under the pillow and dropped down onto my own elbow, until our eyes were level. His dark gaze met mine, then continued through me like a knife through butter. I shook my head lightly, to loosen the hold of dizzying serotonins. Get a grip, Annabelle! I scolded internally, as Cain stretched towards me and kissed me lightly.

“I know what you’re thinking,” he murmured against my lips, nipping at my mouth between words. I made a noise in response that might have been inquisitive, but I dare not speak lest the magic of his exquisite mouth left mine. “You think…” he sighed, breaking off as our kiss deepened. “That this can’t be happening...” He rolled onto his back when I pushed at his shoulder, raising the intensity, and gasped his next words breathlessly into my hot, open mouth. “You think you can’t feel this way…after just one night…but…”

My breath caught in my throat and my heart, I’m certain, ceased beating… I clawed strands of hair off my face that were entangled in our kiss, and knew I couldn’t let him continue. If he said it, if he told me he felt this too, I wasn’t sure I could end it the way it ought to end.

Wrapping my arms around him, I buried the fingers of my left hand in his thick, dark hair, savouring the final essence of a moment I would never forget. His mouth against mine, fell open in shock when he felt the knife pierce his ribcage, sliding into his heart through his back, like tender steak.

For the few moments he lived, Cain stared at me with pain and confusion. He mouthed my name soundlessly… and I replied.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, and I meant it. Another second, I added, in silence, with my eyes, it’s almost over.

As his body went limp in my arms, I settled him back into the bed. If it weren’t for the blood, glistening and oozing, he’d look just as though he were sleeping. I rubbed my clean hand over my face to sober myself, and breathed deeply. It was a shame…and I really was sorry - for both of us.

He was the most engaging mark I’d ever had the honour of killing…and this was the only hit that had ever hurt me. Money usually compensated me, but as I looked at Cain Andrews, lying dead and beautiful beside me, I knew, I wouldn’t sleep well tonight.

36 comments:

  1. Oh this story grabbed me and carried me along, with its sensual language and descriptions and I thought, "Ah, a love story that ends with..."

    MURDER?

    So sorry she could not have kept Cain.

    Wonderfully done.

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  2. Hmm...I figured someone would off someone. Things were going too well.

    I'm never taking a woman home again!
    Good job!

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  3. She gets too involved in her work.

    Nice description, and I like how it plays like a usual falling in love thing. Unless I missed it, could use a tiny hint early on that something is up--although the first paragraph nearly does as does the 'career girl' sentence.

    Glad she went through with it. She doesn't need him, anyway.

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  4. chilling - my heart is still pounding! Well written.

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  5. This is such a good twist and it makes you go back to re-read the clues that you missed the first time around. Can't help wondering what Cain's intentions were - would he have turned out to be a good guy or a bad one!

    Great read.

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  6. Ha! I like to think if she hadn't got him first, he might have done for her instead! :P

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  7. Oooh, saucy.
    And deathy.

    But still - apart from during, surely right after is a good time to go?!

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  8. Good atmosphere and very tricky-- that line, "f he said it, if he told me he felt this too, I wasn’t sure I could end it the way it ought to end" was the first thing that made me think there was something else going on. And well done in making the stabbing not a shock but the same languid movement as the seduction.

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  9. I love the way you made me fall in love with Cain and regret the outcome, as Annabelle had. I was totally drawn in. Great writing!

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  10. I knew I should've had my coffee before I started to read Friday Flash. ;-) Oh my goodness, makes me wonder what Cain did in order to become a marked man.

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  11. Interesting thought, Lou! Got me thinking now...I might write his side of this little series of events for next week! :)

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  12. I love stories where everything stems from the title, but of course you don't realise that until the end.
    Taut, tight writing. Excellent.

    marc nash

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  13. Really enjoyable read, love the biblical pun and sensual language.

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  14. Poet writes stories that flows like water. Fantastic and moving. It ended perfect.

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  15. This was terrific - sensual and emotional, right down to the hint of remorse at the end.

    Great piece!

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  16. Wow, the sensuous descriptions pulled me in and I think I held my breath! All along, I expected Cain to be the killer, but realized I was reading in the first person (though that hasn't stopped a story before). I wanted to see how this one played out, and you delivered a killer ending (sorry--tony started with using the word 'piece'--he made me giggle)

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  17. Ouch, coitus interruptus! Amy, your story is smart and sexy. Great description of the action and dialogue, both inner and outer. It's completely satisfying with just enough subtle clues to make for a surprising end. Your poetic talents shine through in your writing. ~ Olivia

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  18. Really interesting piece here. I wonder what Cain had done to merit the hit. He struck me as too charming for his (or anyone else's good), so I'm going to assume poor Annabelle's actions were for the best, and at least she had some fun doing it. :-) Nice work!

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  19. Given the title, I was pretty sure there was murder afoot. Then I started reading and thought, "well, maybe not…" Very good, you kept me guessing right to the end.

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  20. Wow, excellently described story. A great mix of romanticism and suspense. I'd like to hear more about this assassin.

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  21. I knew it was going to happen, and still... :-) nice one!

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  22. Great hook and impossible to stop reading until the end. You could have made this a romantic piece and it would have worked but the twist added another dimension. The suspense was incredible. Well written. Great story.

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  23. I'd also like to know more about Cain's past, and why the narrator was sent to kill him, and why she chose to kill him in bed (is it her prefered style, or was it because she thought he was hot?).

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  24. I find myself liking and sympathizing with her in spite of myself. Gee, she won't sleep well after that? Too bad! or, poor dear....

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  25. "and I felt something fall inside me, tumbling through my chest…like glitter, or tiny shards of light."

    Yowsa! A female James Bond. Seduce and kill...did NOT see that coming and was somehow relieved that she was a paid assasin and not just a psychopath.

    This was an awesome read. Tight, vivid, wonderfully evocative.

    bravo!

    Karen :0)

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  26. That was chilling! I thought maybe this was a romance story, eek, no. Your writing is very smooth. It sneaks in like a sweet snake and bites. Very well-done!

    Definitely a high stress job. I feel sorry for her, he sounded like a good match for her.

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  27. Well I figured from the title that something was up! Although you did make me care for both of them so I was a little disappointed when she knifed him! We both have spies/assassin chicks this week!

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  28. Argh I'm squirming around - nooo not the erotic nature of the story, but ARGH I'm scared to death of knives! Nicely played out! I did assume something would happen (title) but really didn't think about it until it happened. It's nice to be swept away from waiting for the twist - great job.

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  29. Great sensuality in this, then the twist. It read like a beautiful romantic piece...until the end, of course. :)

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  30. I was hooked all the way through this story, felt a bit like Cain falling for Annabelle and felt that knife when it went in. Powerful stuff. Thanks a lot

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  31. Great piece - hooked me right in. Loved the twist at the end, which I certainly wasn't expecting. This is (one reason) why I don't talk to strangers in bars! ;)

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  32. I'll add that I'd like to know more about Cain too, so yes, please do give us his side next week. Is he as devious as she? Very well-told story Amy.
    I love the "shards of light" line too - that is exactly how that feels.

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  33. Thank you so much to everybody who read and commented this week! Very helpful and encouraging stuff as always! I <3 the feedback! :)

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  34. I was hooked instantly too and there's nowt like a bit of romance with a gruesome ending! A great read.

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  35. With the title, I figured it was going to go the other way. Nice little twist. Good story.

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