Thursday, 11 February 2010

#Fridayflash - Falling

“Are you sure about this?”


“Then I shouldn’t do it…I mean…you should just go back…”

“Is that what you really want?” Michael looked straight at me; almost held his breath. His deep-blue eyes were hurt and incredulous.

“No… God, no! You know it isn’t. I want you here…with me… But Michael, if you’re not sure..?” I sighed, heavily. “Look…the way I understand it, once we do this, there’s no going back…and I just don’t want you to hate me if you regret it later.”

“How could you think I’d do that?” Michael’s voice rose in irritation. “You think I could regret being with you?! Lucy…you’re everything…I could never hate you.”

“You might not think so,” I said, seeing truth in his eyes, yet needing to be sure. “But who knows how we’ll feel a year from now? Maybe your friends are right, maybe we’re being naïve about this and we should just accept that we’re different…”

“Lucy…I had no idea you felt that way… Do you really think they have a point?!” Michael sounded betrayed. I’d never said any of this before, but things were getting serious now…the point of no return. He had to be certain.

“No…of course I don’t…” I breathed, sad and conflicted. “Please, don’t be angry. I just don’t want you to give up anything you’ll miss…I couldn’t stand it if I made you unhappy. Michael…you have so much more to lose than I do…”

“You’re right.” He sighed and rubbed his fingers over his blond head in frustration. “I have a lot to lose… I’ll be leaving a job I was born to do, I’ll be leaving my men behind, and a war I believe in fighting…” he looked up at me, and smiled then, “…the Commander will be furious…and I’ll miss out on all sorts of officers’ privileges… But look at what I’m gaining, Lucy! I get you…and it’s better than all that. It’s better than anything! The war will go on without me…and so will the Unit …I think I’ve led it long enough.”

“And our differences?” I said, raising my eyebrow inquisitively. “What of those then?”

“Well, the way I understand it…after we do this, those will go away. I’ll be just like you.” He grinned, genuinely happy at the thought, and I returned his smile, curling my fingers around the back of his neck and leaning my forehead on his. I stared at Michael’s impossibly blue eyes and held their steady gaze.

“Michael…” I whispered. “Be sure…”

“I’ve never been surer,” he said, suddenly strong, as he pushed the knife into my hand.

Pulling him closer, I wrapped my arms around Michael’s shoulders and sliced the enormous, white wings from his naked back, with a practiced flick of my wrist.

Michael roared in agony as blood gushed from the fresh, ragged wounds…blood that was red…and mortal. His wings fell to the ground amidst a cloud of scattered, stained feathers, and I stepped back, dropping the knife with a violent clatter. I’d played by the rules…he’d had three chances to stop this…

Michael’s pained cries peaked as wails of desolate realisation when he saw the bony horns begin to erupt from my scalp and push through curly red hair that shortened before his eyes. I flexed my fingers as their nails lengthened to claws and a forked tail burst from my lower back, thrashing and whipping at the air.

“This doesn’t quite resolve our differences, angel…” I sneered. The voice that resonated from my morphing body, deepened with every word. “You’ll never be just like me…” I threw back my head and howled with hysterical laughter… Another divine warrior disabled...a leader, no less! This was getting far too easy!

I left Michael sobbing and bleeding on the pavement, as I descended through it, victorious. I didn’t know if the neutered angel cried for the Cause, his wings, or his broken heart…and neither did I care…

Good: 0 Evil: 1


  1. Oh, you wrote a love story. :)

    Well played, you.

    Truly a wonderfully satanic read.

  2. Go Evil! oh... Wait, which holiday is this? Right... Go Evil! Fun!

  3. Thanks!

    The first post for this tale on Twitter was my 666th tweet! It must be a blessed 'tail' (& horns!) indeed!

  4. This was delicious. Great rendering with your words.

  5. Good mix of romance and demonic horror. Loved the twist!

  6. Ouch! So the moral is to always check your girlfriend's references before allowing her to chop off your wings...

    I'm pleased it was angels and demons and not vampires!

  7. Holi Crap that was amazing! Thanks Marisa for Tweeting this!

  8. Well that certainly didn't play out the way I expected. Very cool story!

  9. Whoa. Never saw that coming.

    Nicely done! Now THIS is the kind of Valentine's story I love :) ('Scuse me, gotta tuck the horns back in.) Heh.

  10. Nice (in a suitably nasty way). There I was thinking it's just a soldier going to go AWOL for true love, when you reveal a far darker depth to proceedings. And he was a soldier and he allowed himself to get suckered in by the enemy. Where does love get the warrior? In a Vets hospital or a nuthouse. I REALLY, REALLY liked this.

    marc nash

  11. That's always the problem with angels, isn't it? FAR too trusting!

    Nicely written and a great twist at the end!

  12. Thanks for your comments, guys! I'm so glad you're enjoying... But I sort of feel sorry for my angel Michael now! Perhaps he should have got his happy ending...maybe I'll write him an alternate one..?!

  13. Sulphurous prose Amy! But deeply seductive too!
    Michael had it coming - he's always the gloating victor. Wonderfully twisted!

    Did you read @dijeratic's tale of the same name? Also featuring wings?

  14. Thanks, Simon. Yeah, I read @dijeratic's tale...good stuff, very nice description. I enjoyed it.

  15. WOW - evil rocks! Nice way to kick off the Valentine's Day weekend!


  16. Amy -

    Here I am sucked into a love story and it's evil taking over. Well done. I raise my glass of scotch to you!


  17. Here I am thinking this is a sappy love story about a kid in the army and some chick (think Nicrr4eiolas Sparks), then BLAMMO!

    Brilliant, and oh what devilish fun!

  18. Sorry about typos -- cat on my lap along with the laptop...

  19. Wow - that one was a shocker, not at all what I expected. Love a good twisty ending and yours was deliciously diabolical.


  20. OH boy... gasp.!
    Well written

  21. Never mind, Michael dear - Hell has the best music, remember?

  22. Two twists at the end! I didn't expect the angel and certainly didn't see the devil coming. He definitely works in mysterious ways. Or is that the other one?

  23. Wow! What a surprise ending. Took me by the throut...excellent job, Amy!

  24. YEAH! Oh you know I LOVE it!! Terrific twist on the fallen angel world. Very nicely done!

  25. This rocked! Loved the twists, what a perfectly little demonic love story!

  26. Heh, nicely done. I didn't see that coming at all! Hooray for heavenly demon stories!

  27. This is excellent - I didn't know what to expect. Oh well, the war in heaven is less one sap.

  28. Amy, how wickedly surprising. I thought it was a war story also, a guy going AWOL to be with his love.

    Excellent writing and superb storytelling!!

  29. This was an awesome twist, and thank you for not doing the cheap reveal too late; the pacing worked.

    In my opinion (which is only one opinion, so take that with the proverbial grain of salt) is the perspective. I think the first person slant sort of dulled the impact of the reveal.

    Despite that, once the name Michael was 'uttered', I too, was thrilled this wasn't another (what did Linda type?) Nicholas Sparks-type love mess. Original and fresh, regardless of perspective.

  30. This was like a stab in the heart. Brilliant.